Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I could make wine with my vomit
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
