He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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