oh god the rape fog is back!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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