sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
