i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
