dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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