If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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