You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
