you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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