1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
