In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize