I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
