Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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