If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
