I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
