I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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