Its about making memories worth repressing
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
