Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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