Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
