so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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