I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize