Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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