Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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