it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
