We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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