Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
