Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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