How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I party with great urgency now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
