Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
