You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
