I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
