All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
