he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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