do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
