where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
