Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
