Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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