Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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