You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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