She's JV to your varsity
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
