Is it because I queefed?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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