Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
