I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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