this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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