I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
