I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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