He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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