i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
