I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize