uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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