it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
