Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
