What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let's get the cat blown out
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
