You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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