be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So here I am, sexting at work.
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