My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
